When it comes to love and relationships, I seem like a cool outgoing gal in the beginning. All fun, all dreamy, deep philosophical talks, long nights in bars. I jump into lakes with clothes on (it was daytime, we didn ´ t want to get arrested for nudity). I dance on the streets after watching La La Land (gosh I love this movie). But as soon as I catch deep feelings and decide I really want to spend my life the machinery of anxiety starts moving and my severe fear of loss starts showing. I am very loyal, if you are too. I am fair and honest and never want to hurt one μg of feeling in the world, never. If I do - which does happen - I am just insecure and hurt and hope it helps to be overly clear. But I also love to dream and I dislike if anybody takes a needles and pushes it through the ... Read More about Don´t leave you idiot! Just leave me alone.
Yesterday was quite an exhausting day. I brought my son to the nursery, drove home, put clothes on, drove to the doctor to get my lick leave, went home, had to sleep, picked up my son from the nursery, went shopping with him, came home prepared dinner, as my Mum and her partner were there and it was my hubbys birthday. Sounds not very exhausting I guess, but it was an enormous loss of energy for me. My future husband is the most supportive man you can imagine. No matter what I am going through, no matter wich idea I have, he stands there points out critical parts of the plan and then goes on like a cheerleader. I know he loves me a lot, I know he supports me and I know him by my side. This is good to start of with. Change imagination or reality? The crucial thing about my current ... Read More about Is this the real life or is this just fantasy
As a child I never realized, who wonderful my childhood was and also never realized how difficult my mind is. I just always realized, that everything was difficult, as soon as I had to interact with children my age. I grew up in a family led by my mum. She studied product design, when seh met my dad (musician) and got pregnant with my older sister. I mean we were well in the 80ies when that happened. So my dad (son of a leading professor of music in a university in the US), who got a job in Ireland found his only way of getting this situation handled was to tell my mum (26 at that time) he loved her and would marry her, if she just quit everything and came with him. Otherwise he would leave her with nothing. Crazy to think a woman would go, but a quick reminder: We were in the 80ies, my ... Read More about Contradiction or Complement?!
Here I am sitting at my table, drinking my iced coffee, watching a documentary with Charlotte Roche about love in India. And I feel grateful. In this situation feeling grateful is so much more intense and I guess important thus rare. I am very much tearing up a few times a day right now. Right now? What does that mean? Right now is the situation I cannot really give a name - maybe I should. I hate the work I love, right now. Right now, I cannot hear the names of all of the clients I loved working for. Right now, I need to sleep - monday I slept pretty much all day, did not eat and could not feel a thing - but why am I, where I am right now, and how can I change it? Currently I cannot change at all. I feel like I am in a desert, everything around me looks different but the same, ... Read More about Where I am?!
Hey there bumblebees, I am an 28-year old working girl, so let´s talk about the booze. As I was younger, I used to be into wine most of the time. Well beer was fine and trendy drinks never made me shake my head. But as I got older, I started to have higher standards in everything. At some point I started to dicover my deep and utterly love for gin. It started six years ago, about a year before I graduated and it started with my former boss, back then in an advertising agency. She introduced me into Hendrick´s gin - hell yes!! ... Read More about Booze: Gin Basil Smash | fructosefriendly