Hey there bumblebees,
today I want to talk about something really important. I want to talk about being responsible for your own life. I have really good friends and I love them loads, but sometimes I see people doing the same mistakes over and over again. Of course, as a good friend, I listen to them on how this could happen. And a lot of times I get the following answer: “I have no idea. why did he do this to me? What should I do?” My one and only answer to 98% of the situations: “Why do you let anybody do this to you? What you should do? Change!”
This sounds really harsh, and I am sure I am harsher than a lot of people, but this is never meant to hurt anybody – it is meant to help. It is ment to help to get your shit together and take the responsibility four your own life!
1. Step: Admit, that this is your fault:
It does not matter, if it is about this cute guy, who does not call. If it is the fight with your friend. YOUR sadness, your bad mood, your crying is most of the time your own fault. Harsh again – I know, but I mean it! It is so damn easy to say “He was mean!” It is easy to not take the reonsibility for youself, but, really? Only you can change, when you have the power and the strength to admit, that this is your fault. BUT…
2. Don´t be the victim
When you are down or sad – which is by the way absolutely okay sometimes – give yourself a certain amount of time and suffer a bit. This just means, you are a human being. But after the time is up, change the situation! This sometimes means, you just need to change your view. There are situations in life, which you can not change. In this case, change your attitude about the situation. I’ll give you an example:
More than ten years ago my mother got the diagnosis ankylosing spondylitis. They told her, that she was going to be stiff, by the age of 45. My mother was always a very vivid, fit and agile person. That came as a total shock to her. Even though she a got a diagnosis, that was changing her life, my mother just got stronger. After a year, I asked her, how she lives with the pain. Her answer was easy: “You know what? I can not change the fact, that I am sick – I only can sit there straight, laugh and look into the future, knowing, it won’t kill me! I am happy, and I will find a way!”
An she did – she is now 54 and still agile and happy – as I know her! And she did it all by herself!
3. Be alone – not left alone
Being alone scares people like hell. Since we are children, the whole world teaches us, that being alone sucks. But I tell you a secret: Being alone makes you stronger and happier, than everyone else in the whole world could. Why? Cause you stop needing people, and want them instead! In the 90ies there was this song from 3T – Jacko’s Nephews – called “I need you”. And I personally find this whole song creepy. It is about needing someone and wanting to build the whole world around him/her.
But what happens if this person is gone – either it is because he wants to or has to or even worse! You can´t give someone the chance to destroy you by walking away – that is way too easy! If you can handle your life all alone, you’ll notice, that you want certain people in your life – you do not need them – but you want them! And if you want them in your life, this is a much deeper compliment to them, than being addicted to them! Right?
4. Be a fucking egoist!
Start to say no! No to people, no to jobs, no to guys, no to offers – but stay postive. I myself, am learning this right now and it is hard as hell! I am very motivated in my job! I love my job! Sidenote: Once a friend of a friend was upset with me cause I am almost always happy with my life, that was funny.Okay maybe just for me!
However my motivation makes me want to do everything there is. My boss always gives me a lot of jobs – knowing I am going to make them happen, no matter what. ‘Til the point I stopped listening to my own body and had a breakdown. This made me think! Saying no makes me seem more reliable, cause I know my borders. Saying no, makes me seem stronger and self confident. Saying no means, I have better things to do – so more senior. Saying no gives me freedom and the calmness to do the rest of my job even better! This applies to my whole life! Saying no to a guy, shows you know what you want and what you don’t want. I could go on with this forever – but I think you get the point! Saying no, rocks!
5. Be positive
I tell you something! Saying no, being an egoist, being alone and taking responsibility for your mistakes will make you happier! It will make you more positive and it will make you love yourself even more! And this is the point! Try and live the life you want! If you love to be sad, do it! (But do not pull down others with it!) If you love to wear pink sprinkled shirts – do it with pride.
You have to live your life! Nobody else has to live with your decisions, but you. So make them just the way, you want to. Nobody who truly loves you, will hate you for your decision, if you are happy!
Take your time off, and be alone once a week. Post this with the hashtag #beingalonerocks
Let me know, if you like these kind of blogs in the comments below!
Cya bumblebeees, annavaleria